Zeegrade Reviews

Zeegrade Reviews
Movies for scumbags.

Saturday, November 16, 2013

Wanda, The Wicked Warden (1977)

     Take your pick: Wanda, Greta or Ilsa.  Regardless of Dyann Thorne's moniker, this is an unofficial entry in the Ilsa series.  Directed by well-known pervert Jess Franco, Wicked Warden is often referred to as the roughest of the Ilsa films. 
You can count the seconds when a fully nude woman is not on screen.  But let's get to the real reason why I watched this flick:

"Ya know, I wasn't aware Dyann had eyeballs?"

This is your standard women-in-prison film unlike the usual Nazisploitation of the other Ilsa movies.  Abbie (flat-chested with a bush so thick you need to drop a napalm bomb on to clear it) is searching for her missing sister Rosa who she believes is being held at an all-female mental hospital run by warden Greta and her Death Star size breasts.  Abbie gets herself admitted by holding the sole doctor who works there (Mr. Sleaze himself, Jess Franco) hostage in his car with a gun to his head.  Once she gets inside all kinds of vaginal based tortures begin.  
It's been a whole minute!  WHY AREN'T THEY NUDE?

     Greta makes money on the side by selling 8mm films of the endless showers, tortures and rape parties with the occasional snuff footage to boot.  Abbie is constantly bullied by Juana (the busty Lina Romay who looks downright prepubescent next to Thorne) who in the movie's most disgusting scene takes a shit and then demands her to "lick her culo":

Juana is also Greta's lesbian plaything.  In one scene a nude Greta sticks pins into Juana's boobs, threatening her not to utter a sound.  Greta meets her demise as her prisoners overpower her and eat her.  I mean actually eat - as in sustenance - bringing to mind Franco's worst movie ever.  As sleazy as this is, it's probably one of Jess Franco's most competent works.  Dyann Thorne looks great with her usual blond shoulder length hair grown longer and dyed red.  My copy is the X-rated version as lots of the shower fight scenes offer plenty of gynecological shots that were edited out in later versions.  Supposedly, Thorne's husband had a clause in the contract that calls for no frontal nudity from his wife.  What a fucking prude!  Did he watch any of his wife's films before?  If you're looking for a flick purely for female nudity then Wicked Warden delivers in spades. 

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