Zeegrade Reviews

Zeegrade Reviews
Movies for scumbags.

Thursday, October 22, 2015

Nurse Sherri (1978)

     It's 1978 and the exploitation phase is quickly coming to the end of the drive-in era.  Looking to squeeze one more film out of Independent-International Pictures, known for such low-fare classics like Satan's Sadists and Dracula vs. Frankenstein, co-founder Sam Sherman is inspired to film an erotic nurse-related movie after watching Roger Corman strike gold with Night Call Nurses and Candy Stripe Nurses earlier that decade.  All he needed was a hook.  The supernatural horror film Carrie was all the rage and that was more than enough for Sam to combine the genres together and summon his partner-in-crime, Al Adamson to direct.  The result became Beyond the Living or Horror Hospital or Killer's Curse, Hands of Death and Black Voodoo.  Ya see, neither Al or Sam actually knew how to market their finished product.  Helluva way to end your run, boys.

     Eventually they decided on The Possession of Nurse Sherri and for some inexplicable reason decided to excise most of the nudity including all of the scenes filmed by voluptuous starlet Jill Jacobson.  Possession focused more on the horror aspect of the film, mainly J.C. Wells' character Stevens and his decent into alcoholism as he tries to alert others to Reanhauer's plans from beyond the grave.  I've watched both versions and for the sake of penises everywhere I'm going to focus on the more boobs-friendly version retitled for video simply as Nurse Sherri.
     Our film begins out in the California desert where "brother" Stevens (Wells) — a member of a new-age cult — meets up with the head guru, Reanhauer.  Things are tense, namely because brother William has died two days earlier and all the prayers and fasting in the world ain't bringing his corpse back.  Stevens informs Reanhauer that William's mother has been inquiring about his well being and unless they perform a miracle, somebody's going to jail for denying him insulin.  After three weeks of chanting "rise William, rise" (surprised that didn't work) shit starts gettin' real and Stevens is done with Reanhauer's mystical fraud bullshit.  He lays it out straight for this cracker:

Despite the cold slap to the face courtesy of Stevens, Reanhauer decides to attempt to resurrect William from the dead himself.  Gathering his legion of six followers (including the disgruntled Stevens) Reanhauer summons all the strength he has (which is none) and commands William to rise. Poor Billy ain't lookin' too good:

"Walk it off ya pussy!"

The ceremony reaches it's crescendo and all that "rising" could muster is what appeared to be William's last fart on this plane of existence.  In a fit of shock Reanhauer collapses to the ground clutching his ticker.  His acolytes rush to his aid while Stevens stands alone in silent approval.  
     If you're a fan of boring ambulance rides through drab suburban locales then have I got the movie for you!  Two-and-half minutes of pulse-pounding, non-stop, siren blaring action at speeds up to 25 mph!  Why not film the drivers taking a piss after they arrived, Al?  Reanhauer is rushed to the emergency room where two of the doctors look old enough to have operated on George Washington during the Revolutionary War.  Try as they might, they fail and the kooky cult leader kicks this mortal coil to the curb.  Young nurse Sherri is in the next room attending to clean utensils when she feels physically uneasy just as Reanhauer is flatlining.  She's snapped out of her stupor when Doctor Peter Desmond (Geoffrey Land - Doctor Dracula) offers her a hand:

Too... much... internet porn.

Sherri is not pleased but that doesn't sway Peter who must get really horny seeing old men croak.  He suggests they shower together prompting Sherri to quip that she's involved with a crazy doctor.  Crazy, I'm not sure.  Morally unethical?  Absolutely.  After some lovers talk about "doing what they did last night" we are immediately transported to said activities:

Well, all righty then!

After kneading Sherri's massive tits and worshiping them like the twin gods they are it's time to share with each other their "strangest sexual experience."  First up is Peter during his pre-med days in college.  In a scene that would be duplicated later in Police Academy, Peter is orally serviced behind a podium while he gives a lecture to his giggling audience.  Could you imagine the reaction from the perpetually offended cunts that occupy our universities if this happened today?  He'd get the fucking death sentence!  Sherri's provocative encounter took place in college as well when her busty blond friend couldn't help but attempt to climb her mountains during a massage by the pool:

Thank God you cut this scene, Al.

     Back at work, nurse Tara (the lovely Marilyn Joi - Detroit 9000, The Candy Tangerine Man) excitedly breaks the news to Sherri that running back Marcus Washington is a patient at the hospital.  Tara busts open his door, not taking his physical and mental state into consideration, and immediately bombards him with her fandom.  Marcus won't be setting anymore hearts aflutter on the field:

Detroit immediately signed him to a 3-year deal.

Marcus is visibly (ha!) upset that his career is over and indignantly accuses Tara of peddling "honkey crap".  She informs the bigot of her skin tone and marches her shapely self out of his room.  Damn, she looks good walking away!
     The following morning, Sherri is lounging in a robe that can barely constrain her when she starts to feel an odd presence while lying in bed.  A green glow emerges from under the door in one of Al Adamson's cheeziest effects ever: 

Sherri's body is suddenly engulfed by the fiendish cloud and after a few titillating gyrations she is now infused with the dastardly spirit of Reanhauer.  Sadly, he does not stand in front of a mirror and fondle his new set of hooters for the next five hours like most of us would.
     Back at the hospital, Marcus requests Tara to his room so he can apologize for his earlier outburst.  Nurse Beth tries to comfort an apprehensive patient named Charlie.  She finds that the easiest way to calm his nerves is to pump all that negativity out of him.  Poor Beth definitely drew the short straw as far as conjugal male counterparts go:

"My PPO covers OPP."

Later, assuming after Beth poured bleach down her throat, Sherri is apprised of Marcus' unfortunate accident.  Windshield glass pierced both of his eyes after a bad car crash.  There's little time for empathy as Peter invites the ladies out to lunch.  While Tara and Beth debate on reporting him to human resources what to eat, Sherri has other plans.  Instead, she drives to a graveyard so she can practice her prison yard stare.  When she returns, Peter is nonplussed about her not appearing for lunch with him.  She soothes his temper with the hint of sex later on.  Filling in for Tara, Sherri enters Marcus' room but is stopped cold in her tracks as she angrily reacts to a silver bracelet that Marcus wears that appears to have two Medusa heads engraved on it.  Marcus feels a sudden chill in the room as Sherri silently slinks away.  
     Sherri is back on the road and makes her way to Dr. Nelson's ranch.  Nelson was one of the three surgeons in the operating room when Reanhauer died.  She tells him that there is a very important package for him in the back of her car and when he inspects the empty trunk:

Fork you.

She returns to the hospital and appears in a dressing room bloodied just as Tara was admiring her own bare breasts.  The girl's got timing! 
     Peter arrives later that evening to Sherri's house.  A house, by the way, that is covered in a hideous myriad of green, blue and white wallpaper.  Fucking seventies, man.  Peter, summoning all logic, puts her disappearance from lunch and reappearing later with blood on her face together and comes to the sound conclusion that perhaps she is cheating on him.   He presses her further until a deeper voice comes from Sherri's mouth (it certainly isn't Reanhauer's) warning him of powers that are beyond the laws of science.  Sherri faints away.  
     Peter consults with Dr. Andrews (John Goff, Drive In Massacre) a psychologist who seems hellbent on committing somebody... anybody!  Searching for a logical explanation for the voice that spoke through Sherri, Peter recites what was said to him to Andrews.  This causes him to suddenly remember a conversation he had with Reanhauer (was this before his heart attack?) where he flatly rejects any medication and brags that his powers are limitless.  A following scene with Peter and Dr. Nelson now informs us that Reanhauer was very much alive after he arrived at the hospital and died later on during a follow-up operation.  
     During a sponge bath Tara asks Marcus about the bracelet he wears.  Turns out it's a gift given to him from his Haitian grandmother to ward off demons.  What a coincidence!  He gives it to Tara who is so thankful for the gift that she rides that black stallion blind.  Oh, wait... 
     Peter returns to Sherri (fuck, even her couch is ugly!) and asks her if she spoke to Reanhauer at all.  Of course she did:

"I have many leather-bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany."
He tells her that she is one of the "chosen few" and tries to seduce her with this shiny nugget:
"I'll introduce you to the bliss that lies beyond the borders of hell."

You sure about bliss bordering hell?  Is this like a bondage/domination fetish you have Reanhauer?  Sherri's head starts to throb as she recollects the conversation to Peter.  The following morning Sherri pays Dr. Brown a visit at his private practice office and shanks him in the side with a knife.  It's an instant kill.  Marcus becomes spiritually mindful of the demonic presence that is inside Sherri.  Reanhauer becomes aware of this and attempts to murder him in his room but is foiled when Tara grabs her arm and parallelizes her with the bracelet.  Peter bursts into the room just in time to hear:

Possessed or drunk?  I'm not sure.  
     Dr. Andrews pleads with Peter to allow him to admit Sherri to a sanitarium.  He angrily refuses and storms out of the office.  Marcus tells Tara and Beth that the only way to free Sherri from the spirit of Reanhauer is to exhume the corpse and cremate it.  Instead of laughing in his fucking face like any normal person would they instead set out to find the location of his burial through the hospital files.  They arrive at Al's backyard the grave site, find where Reanhauer's buried and start digging under the cover of night.  Meanwhile, Peter checks on Sherri and nurse Gordon that he assigned to watch over her.  He arrives to find Gordon's lifeless body slumped in a corner by the couch.  Across the city, Tara and Beth reach the coffin and open it.  Peter enters the blood spattered bathroom (bamboo wallpaper, really?) where Sherri emerges from behind the shower stall:
Now who's going to scrub the shower?
Sherri slices Peter across the chest and just before she hacks him to death Tara and Beth light the gasoline-soaked bones of Reanhauer on fire.  Sherri returns to her senses and collapses her blood soaked milk jugs into Peter's arms.  
     In the aftermath of the events Andrews tells Peter that despite Marcus' assurances that she was possessed and had no knowledge of her actions a court of law won't save her from prosecution.  Her only hope is to be proven insane.  A dejected Peter realizes this and stares into a padded room where Sherri is a tearful prisoner of.

Ah, the low-cut padded jacket!  Rawr!
     I've said it before and I'll say it again, female nudity always helps.  This is definitely the case with Nurse Sherri.  The other cut has some silly moments such as Reanhauer's ghost possessing a car, however, they made a serious error by turning Stevens into a functional alcoholic.  Besides, how can anyone take a gander at Jill Jacobson's magnificent melons and think "maybe we should leave those scenes on the cutting room floor?"  No one, that's who!  Well, except for Al Adamson who is now burning in Hades for eternity for this egregious error.  



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